Saturday, January 30, 2010

Dostoevsky / the Underground Man asks...

"...what's better---cheap happiness or lofty suffering?"

I'll leave this post for a while, curious to see what you feel.

Me: I'm still thinking about it myself, though most of my life seems to fit with the former. i find there are more events in my life to be sad about, to suffer in than there are rosy-purplish ones - but honestly, i still can't figure out how in the hell i wake up every day not necessarily cheery, but certainly accepting and full of appreciation (happy in the greatest of minute)...i've somehow managed to place the sad stuff (and it's heavy duty sad stuff yal) right at my side - i don't think i can exist without, after writing that...i'm wondering if i'm not somewhere 'in' between Dostoevsky's musing, or does between not count?

picture from google via

awkward moment

i was trying to situate Gera and dogs for a photo to send to his son in Mexico. ummm, yeah, the black dude riding by on a horse, smiling at the camera was not exactly what i was aiming for...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

it's not the woman this time

Okay, when those years of having more children just pass on by...someone in the relationship is bound to become an obsessive, nut, maniac! It ain't me.

We have had Max, our Dalmation Basset mix, since the latter part of last year (he was so much more smaller than now-yikes!). He is really big and so heavy...

...and Polo (our snowball), just a little pup too at the time---I turned him down to our neighbor, who a day later found Gera alone walking in the house. Polo became ours about 3 mos. after we adopted Max. Gera is a sucker!! Then, last night, Gera's brother calls and says guess what...?

And here you have it folks...this cute little adorable little pure baby Basset who is in no way scared of Max-the-big-bully and who challenges Polo in barking and play biting. I'm horrified when he steps on his own ears, but I think he's supposed to do that. They are almost as long as his little body. The interesting part is we see alot of Max's Basset side in this little one. His butt is the cutest thing - when he's walking.

We're still working on a name for the little guy and thankfully, my mom is taking Polo (yeah, he's the step-child, but will get lots and lots of even bigger puppy love from her). She wanted him from Day 3.

Anyhow, EGAD! House turned kennel! My plants: gone. The carpet: destroyed. Thankfully, there's lots of playing room inside and out. We're open for names. I said Barney, Duke...Gera said Chulo, and something else that is not so challenging in English or Spanish. Suggestions appreciated.

Friday, January 22, 2010


so i'm taking a graduate course in modernism and reading/re-reading some incredible literatures. i'm already gearing to write my shorter paper on Woolf's Septimus and Faulkner's Benjy - all that anxiety stuff. i'm new to Dostoevsky, Proust, Gide - so it is exciting to see what their anxious male narrators do to upset romanticism and safe forefellow penmen.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

til May

my breath and life will be three classes worth of teaching developmental writing at the community college and my own study's worth of these works: looking at modernism and a trial interest, my second course, ...the medieval body

not a shabby way to spend Spring10 i'd say

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

she crossed my mind today

always loving abbey lincoln photo

the voice

Saturday, January 9, 2010

i like to think that i don't get so locked into my work, studies, writing, etc. that i forget to go see a movie from time to time - even with bouts of cable addiction. it's not something i would choose on my own to do and it's not something i would do especially if i were single. but anything that draws me away from my books has got to pack some kind of punch.

we saw Avatar yesterday evening and i must say that it is an interesting flick. i was not infatuated so much with all the technology, the animation (if that's what it's called) and if there were any 3-D moments, i missed them all. i do know that Cameron makes an usual point clear: war is useless destruction and sometimes white guys really do want to be something other than white and dominant. moments of juxtaposition that made me blink: the Avatar with a machine gun in its possession. i went back and forth between automatically placing the Avatar in a culture. i really am a movie klutz. At times, they seemed closely related to Africans and at others they were Native American Indians. hmmmm...what does that say about me? in the end, i could not help but think of this film as being a very updated, newer make of Dances with Wolves...but again, what do i know...