Friday, February 20, 2009

almost back to again



Last night was a success although instead of strolling downtown, we more or less squeezed tight--together--and walked fast. We didn't last. The cold Texas winds are ferocious--especially at night. I feel somewhat powered up, but it's going to be a long road. My sister-in-law has moved in with us again. The best we can make of this is I will, again, start teaching her English.

The library today has been a nice twist in reality. I actually looked forward to returning to work. It's something scary about wallowing in grief for too long (even though its always there). There comes a great need to pull one's self out and get back to life, which continues to move on. Gera was saying that yesterday after we stopped at a traffic light: "It's like this...the cars keep going, the people keep moving, stores still open, people pump gas, nothing stops because someone has died."

I look forward to thinking about upcoming posts and what they will be like. I have some ideas, but none that have really stuck with me. For sure, they will not be sad or about death. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the beautiful artwork and words of everyone else. It's a great place to be.

7 comments:

PeacefulWmn9 said...

Just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed looking through your posts.

Karen

lilaphase said...

Tragedy really has a way of giving everything in a different perspective.

notmassproduced said...

Gera has put into words something which has often crossed my mind. I admire your strength.

ArtSparker said...

Love the post title - it seems like a cousin of "Trying to make it real compared to what".

Absolutely, work - and routine - serve their best purpose as a way to move through.

ArtSparker said...

P.S. I'd rather look at that tattoo than get one there - looks like it hurt.

flawsnall said...

@peacefulWmn9: Thank you, the posts, as you see, aren't always cheery--but they all represent some reality of life.

@lilaphase: Yes, it does. And I might add, it is the worse experience of renewal, but it's necessary.

@notmassproduced: Yeah, he said this in a silent moment of truth. It's similar to an image my Auntie puts forth "you ain't neva seen a u-haul following in behind a hearse"--in other words, we come into the world with nothing, we leave with nothing.

@ArtSparker: ; ) I'm a wuss when it comes to tatoos. Both of my sisters have them and they used to try to convince me to get one, but I just can't do it. I'd rather go to the dentist! I pick this image because it represents a little bit of come back, bounce back in all our relationships: me & gera, gera & sister, me & sister, us & the rest...there's still much work to be done, especially with the mom.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

some irish wit said 'life is a song in one ear and a lament in the other' ....an expression that I carry with me as I always move to whatever next life throws my way....

gera's observation is spot on....the world keeps moving....

and whether we know it or not so do we.

onward and up to you and yours!

oh I remember those cold texas winds, even though I live in a place that gets quite cold, there was something about those winds that could get down to your bones like little else....