Saturday, December 6, 2008

well....it's finally - almost time

whistling in ...




So Monday I have pre-op prep for surgery on Wednesday. I have never been more excited to do this. The last time I had surgery or was even in the hospital was a cesarean and as I wrote in an earlier post, that was 26 years ago. I'm going in with a positive attitude and a cheerfulness that's rather odd. I've been drinking lots of water and eating, still, fried foods sighhhh. I did, however, clean out a gigantic tub of raw baby spinach from Costco! Delicious with onion, tomato and a little fresco cheese, dijon dressing. This was a side dish to my lunch for about four days. I decided to load up on VK. The funny thing about trying to have a second child is meeting others who have stories with not so great of an outcome. One of my more mature students, 46, told me last week that she had been married for 11 years and had tried to conceive for 8 of them. She tried everything one could possibly offer AND she had five laparoscopy surgeries for various reasons, in addition to trying to conceive. I listened intently. She teared up and told me after her last trial of artificial insemination, she was going to try IVF, but then, her husband left her. I wanted to cry with her, but I felt like she is a strong woman and the experience probably lead to other better events in life. She remarried after four years and told me her second husband has been the best thing that ever happened to her. Her problem is that she only ovulates once, maybe twice a year. I read something about women whose ovaries don't produce a lot of eggs. The beauty about her is her attitude. She smiles often, sometimes, cries over her writing (which is very good--she's ESL) and doesn't feel confident about analyzing literature. She seems very resigned with not being able to conceive. Her story made feel aggressive and anger toward her husband. I don't think she's hit menopause yet, but I sure hope a miracle happens for her. She's a wonderful woman and would cherish a child in all the best ways.

I've also contemplated writing our baby a letter, now. So that when he or she is finally in the world and growing, or grown, we can look back on the "best drama in Renee's early forties." I was able to ask E what laproscopic surgery is like. She said it's an easy one. The only discomfort might be having the gas move to underneath my shoulder blades, but that goes away. Oh, by the way, the gas is what they use to blow up my stomach so they can see everything. Then, the gas has to go somewhere in the body---I read that the most common place is the shoulder blades and she confirmed this. She showed me her navel and there was no scar--I don't mind scars, I wear what's left of my c-section scar so proudly---it's from where my Jenn came. Surprisingly, though, after five surgeries, she had nothing there--just a pretty tanned colored navel. I don't know what not having children means for her, given she is traditionally Hispanic, but she seems to have handled it.

Well...I'll be thinking more about writing my baby a letter and may even have Gera take some photographs for a scrapbook. Chances are I will have to have another c-section and I am elated about this--too--the first one was so easy, HOWEVER, I was so incredibly young. The body just doesn't do the same things it does when we're young; I feel excellent and ever-so hopeful. Gera makes it all too easy for me; he's my rock and I'm his too.

Will keep all posted!

1 comment:

Jessicambay said...

I didn't know you were trying to get pregnant.

Congrats, I hope it works out well for you.