Thursday, January 10, 2008

the robe

I was always snatching pictures of my daughter, even in her choir robe. She enjoyed church—thank goodness—for its social outlets and not for the cult like lure religion can be. There are so many things in life I wish I could still teach her. I would love to tell her the story of Job. Again. That virtue is not always rewarded. That no matter how ‘good’ one is, one is never exempt from disaster, havoc, pain, or tragedy. I would teach her the awe of Job’s story. It is by far the best story. A good story.

But I’m so giddy because she enjoyed church for the girls, and the boys, and the dressing up. She loved to sing alto and was very serious during choir performances. She was excited about Sunday school and carrying her Bible and gloves. She had gum, pencils, a notepad, lip gloss, pictures, perfume and small tithes in her Sunday purse. She never allowed what others taught to be the gospel. She questioned everything, all things and refused to settle. She was the center.

My favorite time was seeing her pray with open eyes. I could never take my eyes away from her. Oh! To be so in love.

Friday, January 4, 2008


Survived! I did. The holidays were so depressing and yet so much fun! I don’t know exactly what bi-polar is, but I think that best describes Christmas and the New Year as I experienced them. Our weather jumped around from 70s to 30s, lots of sun and lots of cold. All of my plants are dead except our rose bushes and our mint tea. The annis tea is still vine-y and green too.

The days in between were excellent. My mother made me a “birthday-christmas cake” and even went so far as to decorate it accordingly.


Thanks Mama!

December 29th began as a usual day. But then...

Gera and I woke up at 9:00 a.m. Saturday. We washed, had green tea, eggs and chorizo in spicy green salsa. He went to work on a small kitchen cabinet project and I made my morning, daily weekend calls: my mom and my aunt. I wanted to make some tea cakes. My grandmother, Big, had an out-of-sight recipe. Fortunately, I still have it (and thanks to the archivist).

(Note to me: Do a blog on the history of tea cakes...are they cookies or cakes? include recipe)

I started baking but not before my Aunt sent me to the store for her. She wanted some eggs, honey sweet cornbread mix, and a rabbit.

“Go over there in the deli, in the corner they got’em over there for $2.99 lb. And get me a small one,” she said. “I don’t won’t no damn big one cuz they not tender. Not like the small ones.” Her rabbit cost $4.34.

I knew she was going to eat it. When we were younger and didn’t know any better, we ate their cow tongue sandwiches, pig’s feet both pickled and boiled, pig ears, chitterlings (the intestines of the pig) with hot sauce, fly swatters, and yes...Bugs Bunny too.

I will not cry!

I was again unusual and the day was then definitely---unbeautifulusual. I separated our food items in the buggy as if separating good children from bad children. I added to my pile: Horizon organic milk, chicken, carrots and mole.

On Sunday, Bugs was fried to a golden brown crisp. Then smothered in gravy. My Aunt tried to ‘cut’ me a piece. I said “That’s okay, Auntie.”

I did not cry!

“Gul, you sho you don’t want to try ‘im? You used to.”

She can never send me away without cannisters of food. I went home with leftover Christmas dressing, collards, candied yams, green beans, corn and a bowl of chitterlings.